Drifting

Have you ever “drifted” while driving? I bet you have.

Drifting is unintentionally moving from one lane toward another on the road. When I was teaching my kids to drive, drifting was something they did regularly. New drivers don’t yet have a sense of themselves, the car, and the space they occupy on the road. It takes time to feel it instinctively and be comfortable with it all.

Drifting is also common for seasoned drivers when we suddenly find ourselves in another country and must drive on the opposite side of the road. Two months ago, I was in Cape Town, South Africa with my family and we rented a car for some exploration through the vineyards of Stellenbosch. My son was driving on the left side of the road for the first time. He did better than I did that first time many decades ago, but he did drift a few times, relying on the rest of us to remind him to get back to the center of the lane. When we returned the car (in perfect condition) to the rental outlet, the agent told me the most common car damage for US customers includes tire blowouts and rim damage from hitting the left-hand curb.

I have been doing “drifting” of another kind.

I was talking to a friend this past weekend about trying to find time to finish my next “Out of the Blue [car] Sundays” article so that I could actually post it on Sunday. I told him (with some degree of embarrassment) that other than that first launch article back in March, I have not managed even once since to meet a Sunday “publish” date. The second article was published on a Tuesday, and then the next two on a Wednesday, and the last ones have been published on (horrors!) Thursday. He laughed and said, “Susan, you are drifting!”

I immediately had a vision of driving the Blue Car and drifting over toward oncoming traffic. Of course, this wasn’t what he meant (my head is into road trips and spring rambles and all things Blue Car these days). But he is right. I am drifting well past my Sunday deadlines. Excuses? I am busy. I have been traveling. I have other writing I want to do. These are poor justifications, I know.

As my weekly article drifts further and further past Sunday, the obvious solution is to wait a few days and then I will be right back on schedule on Sundays. Luckily, drifting in this way is nothing like drifting into oncoming traffic: there is no danger to my well-being or that of my readers (hold your thanks please). But even so, I am reluctant to do this; I promised an article each week and this seems like cheating. I also worry that if I drift once, then why not another time? And another? And then maybe there will only be a few more articles before I start my road trip next March instead of the rich collection I envision (the old, “if you give her an inch, she’ll take a mile” adage, or in this case, “if you give her a few days, she’ll take a week, or maybe a month”).

Another solution would be to ditch the “Sundays.” When my friend made the drifting comment I told him that when I started to miss my Sunday deadline, I thought about renaming my newsletter. “Out of the Blue Car” would remove the pressure and make things easier, but I quickly dismissed this idea, as much as it made me smile.

The real solution of course, is to write more often, tee up a few articles in advance, and hit the publish button every Sunday.

This all seems like small potatoes. This is not the New York Times contracting me to do a weekly column. I don’t have editors breathing down my neck for copy. It’s just me setting personal goals, doing something I love, and reaching just a little bit for the stars. “Sundays” is my way to be accountable to myself. Making the public commitment to hit the “publish” button each week keeps me in my lane. Keeps me from drifting (or that was the idea). My friend picked the perfect metaphor to describe my moving deadline, particularly since Out of the Blue [car] Sundays is also my way of preparing for my European road trip in small chunks of time for the next 40 weeks until the Blue Car sets sail for Le Havre - gradually thinking the trip through and checking things off my to do list.

I expected that a weekly article would be hard. After years of being an architect and urban planner, I am switching roles and focus and I am still adjusting the fit of “writer.” Some days I get distracted with other things and other times it’s just hard – the ideas won’t come or I question the worth of the words I put on paper. Committing to sending weekly articles adds some structure and purpose to my intentions.

The reality is that I have always needed deadlines to keep from drifting. I used to worry that this made me undisciplined but at this point in my life, I see that deadlines are just a form of structure with clarity of purpose. They outline a specific goal and force a plan of action to get there in the intended time. Deadlines have been my saving grace over the years, particularly when it seemed I had an impossible number of commitments and not enough hands, energy, or time.

After six weeks of not quite hitting the Sunday mark but committed to getting there eventually, I find something interesting happening. I am now able to do other writing in addition to my Sundays article. I have gotten faster, I worry a little bit less about things being just right, and I have stopped looking for nonexistent big blocks of time in which to work. I launched this newsletter right before going to the UK for two weeks and then on to New Orleans Jazz Fest after that. If I hadn’t made the commitment, I probably would have done no writing at all while traveling. But now it’s just part of every day, even while on the road. Sunday approaching? Sit by the window at sunrise over the loch and write for ten minutes before the photography group comes down for breakfast and we head out to explore the Isle of Harris. Two weeks later and another article is due and its already Tuesday? Write at the airport while waiting for my pre-dawn flight to New Orleans. Have an idea while driving? Hit voice notes and dictate a few sentences so I can refer to them later in the day.

Yes, I am still drifting, but I am getting the hang of this. Just like that new driver who is figuring out her position in the car and the environment around her. I am beginning to trust my instincts more and the words are flowing faster. Which is a good thing; I have 27 topics jotted down on a pad on my desk of what I want to share with you about my road trip. Not quite 40 but I am less worried now about running out of ideas before next March. I feel more confident that one Sunday soon, you will make your cup of coffee or take an afternoon break and find a new article in your inbox because I am no longer drifting toward oncoming traffic and the middle of the week. It sure would be nice to be cruising down the highway centered right where I want to be…in my lane.

On a Sunday.